So you’re thinking about getting married. You may be telling yourself that you know all the foibles and endearing quirks about your future spouse. However, what if she hates onions… the reason you keep on living? What if he fears skydiving, something on your bucket list? Maybe she suddenly transforms into a huge fan of your most hated football team! Joking aside, marriage is a process in which you are constantly learning about your partner. There are many crucial things you should know about your future spouse before getting married!
Before peeking into our analysis of the questions, get your fiancée, boyfriend, or girlfriend, and tap on this invitation link on your mobile device to answer the 10 questions together using the Know and Tell app!
- Do We Want Kids?
This one seems incredibly obvious, but it’s a question that can be easily ignored or overlooked, especially in the heat of infatuation and love. The desire to have children isn’t something that all people share. Some people never want to have children, and some people want big families. Not only that, but some people just don’t have the ability to have kids. Whatever opinion you have, this is something that’s definitely worth talking to your future spouse about.
- Do We Share Our Debt?
How much of your finances are personal, and how much is shared between the two of you? For some, being able to contribute to pay off their spouse’s debt is an honor, but for others, a burden. Know where your viewpoint and your partner’s stance are about this subject.
- What Is Your Worldview?
Whether or not you are religious, everyone has a worldview. A worldview is basically what you believe about the world, and about God. You need to decide if your partner’s beliefs are compatible with yours, and if it’s a deal-breaker if they’re not.
- How Do You Feel About My Family?
When you get married, you not only marry that person, but their family as well. Do you love your future spouse’s family, or do they seriously annoy you? You’re going to have to deal with your future in-laws quite a bit, so make sure you know how you feel about them before taking the plunge!
- Have We Both Been Honest With Each Other About Our Medical Histories?
The last thing that you want to find out when getting married is that your partner has a terminal illness. This is an extreme example, but often times, medical illnesses hide under the surface, and are completely invisible to outside people. Illnesses such as anxiety and depression can be easy to conceal, but throughout the course of a marriage, those illnesses are inevitably going to play a factor (whether you like it or not). Be open with your spouse about any medical issues that you are facing.
- How Did Your Family Handle Conflict?
Conflict will always happen. How you handle it, as well as how you expect your partner to handle it, are huge factors in determining the ability your relationship to stand the test of time. If your family was one that calmly and openly talked about their issues and disagreements, but your future spouse’s family handled conflict by yelling, there may be some issues that arise when conflict finds its way into your home.
- Are You Assured of My Commitment to You, and Are We Equally Yoked In That Commitment?
Make sure that your partner doesn’t have doubts about you going into the marriage. Although humans will inescapably have fears and trust issues, it’s good to get these out in the open, so that you and your partner can try and deal with them before it becomes a topic of argument.
- If We Are Going to Have Kids, Who Will Be the Primary Caregiver for the Child?
In the world we live in, it’s not uncommon for the woman in the relationship to work while the father stays at home to take care of the children. Is this the style of parenthood that you want, or do you both want to work while a nanny takes care of the kids? Maybe you want kids, but hate changing diapers.
- Where Do We Start Our Family?
For some people, the thought of staying in one place for too long is terrible. However, for others, they want nothing more than to stay in the town that they were raised in. If you’re a traveler: you’d better travel now, or make sure that your future spouse is on board with your plans.
- What Are Our Expectations of One Another?
Most marriages/relationships in general fail because of unmet expectations. Often, expectations are never spoken out loud, but simply implied. There is no way to fully voice every expectation that you have; as many of them are deeply engrained into how we think as humans and are things that we would never think about until the situation arises. However, striving to inform your partner of the expectations that you have for them, and learn the expectations that they have of you, can help in the crafting of your shared future.
